Dancing in the April Showers and Giving our May Flowers...TODAY.
You’ve probably heard countless people say, “Never in my life have I experienced anything like this.” But then you see the beautiful centenarians who have endured it ALL and lived to tell about it. They have plenty of tips, but the underlying message is the same...keep going...don’t stop. You may feel like you can’t keep going today, and then tomorrow comes. There’s a meme circulating that alludes to the fact that we only have yesterday, today, and tomorrow. In tenuous times, we can only focus on today. And then one day at a time after that. Fear and anxiety are a common thread that binds us right now. You are not alone in your roller coaster of emotions and feelings of uncertainty. But what CAN you control right now? The simple act of asking yourself that question allows you to PAUSE, do a SELF-CHECK, and decide how you’ll COPE. If you’ve been to #CLUBQUARANTINE, created by D-Nice, you’ve seen what healthy coping looks like. Maybe you’ve experienced that same sense of momentary peace in other virtual groups, classes, activities and events. According to Psychologist Abraham Maslow, belonging is one of the needs we have as humans to be ‘okay’. Let’s talk about a few other levels of his theory.
Hand sanitizer, toilet paper, and all the things we take for granted.
At the most basic level of Maslow’s hierarchy are our physiological needs. Breathing, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis are essential for us to live. It’s the reason that grocery store employees are now considered essential personnel - and Instacart, Amazon, and Whole Foods Market are striking this week. How are you doing with meeting your basic needs? This event is a microscope for the items we misuse and abuse. When was the last time you thought about how many squares of toilet paper you used, how fast you ran through a food item, or if you touched your face and licked your fingers before washing your hands? This mental shift can be obsessive and maddening. But, we can lower the stress associated with ‘living’ in these times by:
Planning your food lists and systems to stay protected ahead of time.
Ordering online, pickup, and delivery if available - even if you have to pay a little extra.
Getting the sleep, exercise, and physical connection to keep from being in a constant state of fight or flight and compromising your immune system further.
Filling out necessary paperwork to benefit from assistance that is available in times of financial hardship.
Breathing...just breathing...because we CAN.
Sheltered-in-Place
Our safety needs are Maslow’s second tier. If we don’t have security of body, employment, resources, family, health, and property, we don’t feel settled, safe, and at peace. That’s why we see people giving tutorials on ‘what the stimulus package means for you’, buying rounds of ammunition, and trying to start an online side-hustle to get through. It’s time to take stock of what you need to feel secure.
What resources do you have?
What resources are lacking?
What resources are available that you haven’t tapped into?
When truthfully answering those questions, remember to politely set your PRIDE aside. This is not the time for hubris, ego, and denial. In order to G-E-T, you must A-S-K. Even if you have to tell yourself, “I’ll pay it forward later,” do what you need to get your needs (and those for whom you are responsible) met.
Under My Umbrella
The highest level of Maslow’s hierarchy is self-actualization - the motivation to reach our highest potential. Our basic needs must be met before we can even think about getting to this level. So right now, our highest level might just be reaching out to those close to us to ask:
“Are you okay?”
“Do you have what you need?”
“How can I help you right now?”
This is what is meant by ‘giving people their flowers while they’re living’. There is something so transcendent about helping others when we ourselves are in a place of need. It not only makes us feel better, but allows us to be an instrument of hope for others...hope in humanity, and in the face of uncertainty. Who will you ‘give flowers to’...today?
Stay Healthy. Stay Safe. Stay Intentional.
This is coaching…
Sometimes these 1-2-3 steps are enough, sometimes they aren’t. If you need objective support to reframe the negativity, fear, and anxiety you’re feeling right now, this is the perfect time to schedule a clarity call to make sense of it all, and get help navigating the new normal.
