got balance?
In a culture that prizes being busy over taking the time to rest, how are you all doing with maintaining harmony and proportion? If you feel like you’re constantly on a hamster wheel, I want to remind you of some steps to achieve an equilibrium overhaul in a very purposeful way.
B - Be Intentional
BEING intentional means doing something on purpose, deliberately. It begins with listing your values. Values drive goals – goals are a means of achieving our values. When we're NOT committed, we find ourselves quitting because our values don’t align with our goals. The stronger the value, the more motivated you are toward the goal.
A - Adapt
COVID forced us to sit with ourselves. COVID exposed those who’ve never been told “NO” in their lives. COVID caused us to rethink our way of BEING. COVID forced us to feel our feelings more than we usually have an opportunity to. COVID was a catalyst for examining the way that we approach grief, loss, and being alone. We can’t prevent some of the fires. We can’t predict the distractions that will occur (daily). But we can decide to be flexible, and adapt to the interruptions of life.
L - Live
The poet Rumi said, “Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do." Live the life that YOU want. Make decisions based on YOUR values, goals, and not THOSE of others. Some people make that decision at 15...and some people make it at 50...and most never make it at all.
A - Avoid
Avoid miserable company. Social psychologist Stanley Schacter coined the phrase, "Misery loves miserable company." Unhappy people are a 'FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH’. Spend time with people who are good for your mental health, not the ones who drain you.
N - Nurture
Taking self care and soul care seriously looks like, scheduling PTO, a vacation or staycation, eating well, moving, engaging in healthy sleep habits, listening to music, laughing, journaling, trusting, unplugging, connecting, playing, and reflecting are a few practices that garner us freedom from labor. Giving yourself permission to pencil it in like you would any other important appointment.
C - Choose
Positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubormirsky and her colleagues tell us that 50% of our happiness is based on genetics, meaning that it is fixed, innate, and relatively unchanging. While 10% is based on life circumstances, beyond our control (health, money, status, good or bad things that occur). But a whopping 40% is based on intentional activity, actions or exercises that require some degree of daily personal effort.
Examples of intentional activities are:
Expressing gratitude
Being optimistic
Avoiding over-thinking and social comparison
Practicing acts of kindness
Nurturing relationships
Developing strategies for coping
Learning to forgive
Increasing the FLOW experiences
Savoring life’s joys
Committing to your goals
Practicing religion and spirituality
Taking care of your body
Although we don’t have control over genetic set point and life circumstances, the third factor, intentional activity, is arguably the most hopeful and promising means for altering our perspectives and course. Happiness is a choice – CHOOSE HAPPINESS.
E - Expect
Expect that problems in life are inevitable. We can’t prevent the death of a loved one, chronic illness, bad weather, or an unexpected diagnosis. But we can control the way we respond to the curve balls that life throws our way. Always ask yourself, “Will this even matter tomorrow, next week, next year?” And surround yourself with people who do the same.
Balance doesn’t just happen. But with intention as your compass, your direction will become clearer as you engage in the practice of these 7 areas, allow yourself a little bit more grace, and keep believing that everything always works out exactly as it should.
Here’s to a more intentionally-graceful juggle!
*For more on intentional balance + additional reflection activities/journal prompts to complement what I’ve discussed here, get your copy of “Intentional Balance: Creating space to achieve a more graceful juggle” here.
